I have been quiet on this blog because my mum died on the 23rd of December. It was unexpected. A fall, which seemed to do no damage, then a week later she died. With help from my sister, I organised her funeral. I loved my mum.
My eulogy:
Remember to speak up.
Thanks for coming.
My mum enjoyed a long life. A life of supporting her husband in his teaching career, raising a family, being a proud homekeeper and touring Australia and the world. She enjoyed the love of her husband, children, sisters, relatives and a small circle of friends.
Sadly, some of them have passed away, while others were too sick to attend today. But I know some are watching the live stream of this funeral.
Look at audience.
Mum grew up in Bairnsdale with two much younger sisters, Lynn and Cathy, whom she helped to look after. She went to Bairnsdale High School, where her best friend was Norma Alvin. As the Alvin’s were a Salvation Army family, Mum and her sisters joined up. Mum sang with the Salvos chorus. Her sister Cathy tells me that Mum had a wonderful wobbly voice with a great range. When Norma’s mother died, Dot helped Norma look after her siblings.
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Dot left school around 14 and got a job in a dress shop. From her knitting, wool spinning and sewing throughout her life, it was clear that Mum enjoyed creating and working with clothes. But she didn’t like the way the dresses smelt after being tried on by many customers at the dress shop.
Her sister Cathy remembers Dot making her a lovely pleated skirt and knitting her a fuzzy wuzzy cardigan when she young. Mum even sold her knitting at a local shop in Wangaratta. I still, on very cold days, pull out a jumper she made 30 or so years ago.
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Dot and Norma went to dances. That’s where Mum met Dad. She married Neil in her early twenties. Children came soon after that, and she settled down to be the best mother she could be. Due to Neil’s teacher’s job, my mum lived in many parts of Victoria. Heathcote, Bendigo, Newry, Baxter, Heyfield, Wangaratta, to name a few.
Mum made the best of raising a family in the various education department houses we lived in. One of those houses was condemned while we lived in it. My parents finally purchased their own house in Wangaratta about 40 years ago. No more outside toilets, leaky roofs, sloping floors or long drafty corridors.
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Mum didn’t have a greedy bone in body. She always put others before herself. She just wanted to create a loving home for her family. When I was young and something had gone wrong, she loved to tell me a story about Dad when he was at teacher’s college. He had saved up for months to buy a wireless radio so he could listen to the footy and cricket. One day he came back to his room and found that the cleaner had knocked it off its shelf and broken it. Look at audience. We all have set backs.
Mum was a great traditional cook. She made a delicious lamb roast with spuds peas and gravy, a moist and fruit packed Christmas cake, and a pavlova that beats any others I have eaten.
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Mum was a bibliophile. She loved reading thrillers like Jon Cleary and Jack Higgins. She joined in with my Dad’s book collecting at fetes and second-hand bookstores. She collected Mary Grant Bruce and Enid Blyton books for herself.
Unfortunately, her eyesight weakened with age, so it was just as well she had gotten into listening to book cds. Her love of Bony Detective stories made it easy for me to get part of her Christmas and birthday presents.
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Mum loved musicals throughout her life. Her Aunt Edna used to take mum to pantomimes. Mum would get dressed up with gloves and everything, and then they would have high tea afterwards.
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Later in life, Mum was swept up in Dad’s travel fever. From trips around Australia to New Zealand and then to many other parts of the world, including Europe and North America.
One of Kay’s favourite memories is when Mum, Dad, and her were at Disneyland. They went on the small world boat ride which travels through different countries while the song It’s a Small World After All is played. Mum loved it. She enjoyed it so much that they had to go back into the line and do the ride again. The following day, once the gates open, mum took off to do the small world ride once again.
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But one could never get past the feeling that Mum was happiest at home. Happy with the routine of cooking, shopping, knitting, reading and watching thrillers while catching up with friends and local shopkeepers.
Mum loved a coffee, frequently walking down the street to her favourite coffee shop where they would often give her free cake. On one of those trips, local independent at the time, Cathy McGowan came in, and mum told her that she voted for her. Cathy then invited her for a coffee. Oh to have heard that conversation.
Later in life, mum enjoyed Kay’s frequent visits to take her shopping and go for a coffee. She also loved talking to her sisters and Geoff every couple of weeks on the phone.
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Mum was always there to support her family. She made you feel like you had done the right thing, even when you may have been in the wrong. Mum tried to see the best in people, except for a few politicians. She just wished people would just get along.
She rarely whinged about life. Even though later in life she had a number of health concerns. All she wanted was for her family to be healthy and happy, as was shown by her signature telephone sign off of (pause) “Look after yourself”.